6. End of week Two – Spider and Future Plans

Two people I know are now off from work, one has started to have covid symptoms and the other is in a household with covid symptoms, both are due to be tested. The one with the covid symptoms, will now be known as my covid buddy. My friends sister has started having covid-19 symptoms, she is quite poorly, she is at home, receiving advice from her GP.

Its a reality check that healthy fit people of working age are experiencing symptoms of covid-19, not just the elderly or people with underlying medical conditions, its everyone that is at risk, from contracting this virus.

The Prime Minister has released a video on Twitter, thanking staff for looking after him, he says the NHS has saved his life, he talks about healthcare staff’s ‘personal courage’ and staff ‘putting themselves in harm’s way’, he has been taking notes, let’s hope that his experience has a positive effect on healthcare and the future of the NHS is going to be secure. He looks quite unwell in the video footage.

I’ve had I lovely gift through the post today a book by Fearne Cotton ‘Calm’, its from one of my supervisors and there is a touching message as well. Just the boost I needed, but I am too tired to read at the moment, I will when I feel a bit better. I message her and thank her for her kind thoughts and present.

At about 11.30pm I have an extreme emergency in the bedroom, it’s an emergency to me. There is a rather decent sized spider just sitting on the floor, no its moved, bloody hell, it’s up by the radiator. Now normally I would of left the room in a flash, blocked the door off, gathered supplies and camped out down stairs away from the spider, until I was rescued. But in these unprecedented times, my better half is in ITU and no-one can come in the house, because I’m medically dangerous to everyone and I quite frankly I have the speed and reactions of a sloth.

I am so so tired and my reactions are dulled, I decide it’s better to keep an eye on it and conserve my energy. The cat wanders in the bedroom and sits at the end of the bed, on guard like a highly trained watch dog. I message Adam to let him know my predicament, no response. Whilst the cat is in a stare contest with the spider, I realise how big the cats backside is, I let Adam know about this observation. It’s disappeared again.

At 23.42pm, it’s back, now I know you are going to wonder how I know the exact time, trust me I’ve looked back on my messages to Adam, the ones he wasn’t responding to. It’s on the bath towel hanging on the radiator, I take a picture of it, as proof, its looks like a smudge on the bath towel because of the distance and my hands are shaking. Its disappears and reappears for the next 15 minutes, everytime it moves I send a message to Adam, just so he can apart of this spider nightmare.

Its not as if, I can call the police and say there is an eight legged intruder in my bedroom, please come and remove it, oh by the way I’m positive for covid-19 so you are going to have to pop on some PPE. I am truly alone and I don’t feel up to facing a fear tonight.

Just after midnight I become a little brave and take a look where it’s gone, at a distance of course, I don’t want to give it coronavirus. Its sitting behind the bath towel, just sitting there, its cheesy feet on the bath towel, I decide I need to take some affirmative action, these were the words I send to Adam, still he doesn’t respond. The spider sits there, planning its attack on me, I feel vulnerable, it must know I am all alone and weak, it’s making me shudder, just writing about it.

If I was really brave I would chuck that bath towel out of the window, but I’m too frightened to get too close to it. I’m in the bedroom looking for a suitable weapon, the phone rings, its Adam, with all the apologies in the world. I haven’t got time for his ITU coronavirus excuses, I just want rid of the cheesy footed arachnid. He is siking me up to take on the eight legged intruder, just breath, don’t cough at it.

The only thing I can find is a small umbrella, my first hit completely misses the mark and quite frankly was pathetically weak, I hit again with a bit of a girly squeal, I’m really frightened, Adam’s laughing at me, not with me, its not helping, its giving me the hee bee gee bee’s. I send out a few more swipes, just for good measure, I can’t see it anymore, the cat looks at me disappointed and walks out the bedroom, I’ve given up as well. Exhaustion has hit me, I go back to bed and the ghosts, whilst keeping an eye out for the intruder.

I think to myself, that towel is going to be staying there for a while, I don’t want to touch it.

The muscle aches in my arms and legs really hurt, I’m only taking paracetamol, I’m too frightened to take anything else, encase I stop breathing and I’m on my own. Well I’ve got the cat and she does perform CPR quite well, but she uses her claws. I know its irrational, but I don’t want to take the risk and end up dying, then being found with a cat making a meal out of my toes and a disgruntled spider vomiting its digestive fluid over my hands.

Easter Sunday and good news, Adam has been able to take two steps and is able to sit in a chair in ITU, with the assistance of physiotherapists, he is still on oxygen. It has exhausted him, he has lost weight and muscle mass, his legs are weak, they hurt him and he is quite wobbly. This is fantastic news and I spend time messaging everyone and anyone about his progress. Later in the day Adam moves to a side room in a ward, I said he was getting the VIP treatment. Adam doesn’t think so, he has been used to one to one nursing in ITU and this change has a detrimental effect on Adam.

Staff have to put on new PPE whenever they go into room and removed the PPE when they leave, their visits are obviously less frequent, as the nurses have more patients to look after, Adam doesn’t see anyone for long periods of time. I tell him he is lucky he gets to see someone, I don’t, all I have is a moody cat that is more than likely to scratch you, a bunch of ghosts and a missing in action spider.

My manager messages me, he messages almost everyday, to check on how I and Adam are doing, I give him the good news about Adam being able to sit in a chair. I tell him that I was doing alright, but seem to have been experiencing a set back, I’ve still got the cough and breathlessness, the aches in my arms and legs are hitting me with a vengeance and the fatigue is overpowering. I don’t tell him about the spider, that would be too much information.

I’ve realised that I don’t actually feel rested after sleeping, in fact I feel worse than before I went to sleep, if that is actually possible.

Adam calls me late afternoon, he has had enough, he can’t do this anymore, he hasn’t got any fight in him, he is giving up, I listen to all his worries and concerns, I am sympathetic to him, he still says I can’t do this anymore. I tell him he can’t come home until he is off oxygen and he is able to walk upstairs. Still Adam says no more, I can’t do it anymore. I snap, I tell him how far he has come and then I say whilst crying down the phone “you ain’t leaving me on my fucking own”. This shocks us both, but my outburst seems to refocus Adam’s mind, he isn’t alone, he has lots of people rooting for him, wishing him well and hoping he makes a full recovery.

We make plans for the future, we have both been working flat out the last few months, extra hours, overtime and volunteering for more shifts, we are trying to save a deposit for a house. This has got to slow down, we both agree that money is very much less important now, we need to take more time for ourselves and each other, if it takes longer to get a house, we will just have to wait that bit longer.

We both want a holiday to look forward to, we don’t care where, I said that I would quite happily live in an igloo for few weeks. I start looking at places I want to go to, I want to go somewhere with trees, get back to nature, sit in a natural habitat, watch native animals, soak up mother nature. I look at New Zealand, Colorado, Canada, Finland, Sweden. Before I know it I’m looking at at the Artic Bath, there’s a message on the screen about covid-19 and just like that bumped back into reality. We can’t go anywhere, covid-19 has a strangle hold on the world, no-one is going anywhere, anytime soon.

Adam says he wants a dog, I’m not sure how the cat is going to like a new addition to the home. I don’t tell the cat, just encase she starts plotting revenge with the spider.

Tupac cat on spider watch April 2020

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